I'm addicted to spontaneity. In my small town, there's not that much to do. You can't really walk anywhere because there are no sidewalks. (My state is too cheap to put some in; we would rather spend our money on crap that doesn't even matter.) So I don't exactly "get out much". I sound pathetic and pitiful... yes, i know. But I'm serious! There is absolutely nothing to do. Sometimes, I go to Target and just walk around and test out lawn furniture and stuff.(It's more fun than it sounds.)
Anyways, back to my drug. The only cure to the boredom and monotonous day in the life of a 15 year old from a small town in New England is spontaneity. Every morning, when I wake up I think to myself, what the hell should I do today? What the hell is there to do today? So usually I just stay in bed and sleep away the morning... but that only makes it worse! It only makes me succumb deeper into the sickness. So now I have found my drug... I tried it once and I have been hooked on it ever since.
It doesn't matter what I do, as long as I am out amongst other people. Sometimes, it's just taking a random trip to my favorite ice cream shop. And other times, it's going for long car rides by the coast with the windows down. That is the best thing. Yesterday, my dad took me for a ride down by the beach. I had the window down the whole time. My arms and head hung outside the window while I inhaled deeply, trying to memorize the feeling of sea air in my lungs. I had substituted the stuffy air of my bedroom for the crisp, salty air of the ocean. Seeing all the people coming off the beach with their swimsuits and tans made me a little jealous, but it made me realize how much I wanted to go to the beach. So, I am. This Saturday.
Spontaneity isn't always about getting away or going places, however. Spontaneity occurs all the time if you leave your mind open to it. Finding happiness in small experiences can be spontaneous. Finding a new hobby can be spontaneous. Anything can be spontaneous if you allow it to be. Just let things happen and do things that make yourself happy, and you will know what I mean. You'll have more patience, more happiness, and a greater appreciation for life.
I am not yet a suitable dealer for this drug, though. I am still trying to become spontaneous. I think I plan too much. I have been trying to think of ways to be spontaneous. (such a contradiction). I guess I should just let the pieces fall into places and take it day by day. I was a bit spontaneous by randomly starting a blog..... maybe this was the start of my addiction. But I think it was when I saw how much fun people can have when they just let themselves.
